When a mother has a newborn baby or barely a month old, she tells her family, “I hope it grows up quickly so that it is easier to understand what is happening to it, because now it just cries and I don’t understand what it has”, but Oh !! surprise, here is a story that will interest you.
When my son was born I thought that taking care of a newborn was difficult … The moment of the bath put my “nerves on edge”, I had to practically guess the causes of crying after checking the diaper or seeing that he was not hungry, because obviously a baby cannot express it in words.
However, now that my son has grown up to be a toddler, I realize that it really was very simple compared to the challenges we are currently facing.
You don’t need to set limits for a baby because they are beings of need. A baby only communicates that he needs to eat, he will not cry because he wanted another cookie or chocolate milk. In addition, their needs are universal: eat, sleep, be clean, stimulated and safe, and we just have to understand or interpret them and respond to them.
It is a relationship of communication-interpretation-response that is learned through experience: he is hungry, I feed him, he is sleepy-I lull him, his diaper is dirty-I change him, he wants to play and we enjoy time with him, the mother. pour out love for him – we show him our infinite love with kisses, looks, words and cuddles.
Now that I write it, it reads so easy that it makes me want to have more babies, but I remember what comes next and I better clear my mind to understand who is now my “little teenager”.
Why is it more difficult to take care of a young child if he is more independent and already expresses himself to say everything he thinks? The answer is that it is precisely because of that.
Basically when my son stopped being the baby of the house and the curiosity arose in him to understand how the world that surrounds him works together with the clear wishes of what he wants without understanding the rules that limit his wishes, a thousand more challenges began.
The first is your need to explore with your senses and your body to understand the world and its rules. This meant not only being behind him all the time (don’t fall or hit or get into trouble), but constantly teaching him what he can do and control and what he can’t, which results in a lot of frustration and hence tantrums.
Added to this is his interest in seeking greater independence; when he realizes that he can already do things for himself and unless he wants to, he asks for help. And discover a word that will stay in your vocabulary for a long time: NO.
That word that I dream of as a mother, for him is a law, it is a way of showing what he wants and what he does not want, it is a symbol of the “power” that complements him. It is a NO that responds exclusively to their wishes without taking into account that in the world there are certain limits and rules, so it is accompanied by frustration and tears as they internalize what they can control and what they cannot.
And precisely for that reason, it is a challenge for us as moms and dads, because we must establish and maintain limits to guide them and help them regulate themselves based on the idea that although they already have clarity in their desires, they cannot yet regulate their emotions when the world It is not how they want it.
The most difficult thing about educating a young child is that there is no general rule like babies that are fine if we cover their universal needs. It must be taken into account that each child is different, and therefore, there are different personalities, even among the same siblings.
We learn everything along the way and we have to adapt to each of the personalities to give them the best of ourselves as parents, give support in times of frustration, anger or celebrate moments of joy.
I know that it is very difficult to educate a young child and that as time progresses other challenges will come, but I am sure that together we can achieve it.
Now the best thing I can do as a mom is to learn and enjoy each stage of my son, because both babies and toddlers are beautiful and amazing.
Reviewed by Karen Zaltzman, Parenting Educator.
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